Burger King and Other Important News

Tuesday night is Family Game Night in my household. The favorites are Twister and Hide N Seek. Perhaps the following comment from Turner stemmed from a slight jealousy towards my reigning champion status at Twister...

"Mom, your butt is really big."
To which I replied..."Mmmhmmm. In Twister this works to my benefit."

In other important news...

Today Burger King announced that due to grass root restaurants (like in-and-out burger) as well as pressure from mom and pop places, they had to change their french fries for the first time since 1998. They have made them bigger, reduced sodium and "added a substance" in order for the fries to stay crispier. I am curious to know what "substance" qualifies as on the FDA's "Edible Food" list.

Still in other important news...

Kirstie Alley is still making money off her weight loss. No, I mean weight gain. Or is it weight loss. No wait! I mean loss...oh hell, I don't remember which it is was. I still liked her best when she was doing coke and hitting on a toupe wearing man.

Kate Gosselin denies having a face lift. Really. Demi hasn't had any work done either.

Hugh Jackman sweats off 3 lbs a night dancing...I think that's all I need to say...

And finally... There was a study done somewhere that discovered if a man sits for at least 4 hours with a WiFi transmitter on top of his lap, or with his laptop on top of his lap, or near a WiFi transmitter, all of his available sperm will be dead. Finally. Birth control for a man that doesn't involve latex.
http://www.blogger.com/goog_1618229003

20 Minutes

I found myself with 20 unscheduled minutes yesterday. What was so disturbing to me was that I didn't know what to do with  myself! Should it happen again, I have made a list so that I won't stand in an empty kitchen with a vacant look on my face not knowing which direction to move in.

...in no particular order...

1. Twist and Detox yoga routine.
2. Read for pleasure.
3. Eat an entire package of Oreo Cookies.
4. Power nap!!!
5. Giggle until my stomach hurts.
6. Dream about....lovely things.
7. Fold and put away Mount Laundry.
8. Study more.
9. Play one mad round of hide and seek with kiddos.
10. Run (away.) HAH!
11. Plan the week's menu.
12. Clean the house.
13. Clean the car.
14. Jump up and down.
15. 300 sit ups.
16. 20 pushups. (Pitiful, yes. Sad upper body strength.)
17. Fix that underwire issue that has been bothering me the whole bloody day!
18. Breathe.
19. Talk to friends.
20. Write.

You? What would you do?

Sounds of Thanksgiving

Pack. Load up. Buckle up. Are we there yet? 3 more hours. I have to pee. Snuggles with mommy or chocolate cake? Chocolate cake! Where's the Kooken?! Are we there yet? 2 more hours. Pass the Kooken! I really have to pee. Unbuckle. Buckle. In case of accident, at least you are warm. Unbuckle.  Unpack.  I need to study. It's hard to tell the difference between the shell and the nut. Why don't you kids go outside. Look how creative I was! Is that a skateboard? Yup. Really? It's only 6:15 AM! Screw the nursing, you need to write! She has done it! I am so proud of her! I really need to sit down and study. Pack. Load up. Buckle up. Are we there yet? 532 Polka Dots. I think the whole world should be made out of candy. Then you can eat your arm and it will grow back. I love you, Mommy. I love you too, Bug. How in the WORLD can you be hungry right now? Are we there yet? 22 Kangaroos. Unbuckle. Unpack. If only I could channel my inner boy. One step at a time. Pack. Load up. Buckle up. Silence.... Unbuckle. Unpack. If there is an unlimited number of prime numbers, aren't there also an unlimited number of twin prime numbers? How'd it go? Brought my A game. Sorry we are leaving you all alone. Must. Sleep. How can I be hungry? Pack. Load up. Buckle up. Have you ever dropped anything you really like out of the car window? One full hour of children's giggles. How much longer? 8 minutes less than the last time you asked. Wait. Rewind. Did you throw something out the window? No. Just teasing you, Mom. Perfect, Guns and Roses singing "Patience" on the radio. How long have we been in the car? 20 minutes. 20 minutes?! It's been like an hour already! I'm bored. Read. Unbuckle. Unpack. Home. All of the coffee in the world put into one cup could not keep me awake and allow me to study right now. Feeling grateful. Absolutely perfect holiday.

Happy Day of Thanks

For the first time in 3 years, I am lucky enough to spend both Thanksgiving and Christmas with my kiddos. Never one to tackle any opportunity quietly, I have decided this year I will pass along what I believe to be the "true" meaning of this holiday season...Family. Friends. Kindness. Love. (ie: F*ck the gifts.)

Having said that...not sure what this says about me ... but as I lovingly prepared my contribution for today's dinner, I lost the food. So focused at chopping and going through my mental list of the To-Do's before we take off and celebrate, I somehow misplaced all of the veggies I just cut. I looked in the frig, the cooler thinking maybe I was so efficient that I packed them already. I even went so far as to check the car. All to no avail.  Totally confused and starting to think this is absolutely ridiculous, I checked the cupboard.

Yes. This is my cupboard. Yes. I found the vegetables here. In the cupboard.

So let me start off this holiday season by saying I am THANKFUL for finding the food.

Peace, love and giggles to you all.
Christa

Bold Moves

1. Picked up a few hours at my favorite local coffee shop.

2. After T announced he would only play basketball if I coached...I agreed.  Hahahahah! HELP! I wonder if there is a "Basketball for Dummies" book? I was a skier. Never good with the whole eye-hand coordination thing. This should be interesting.

3. Motivated to take on and conquer Mount Laundry. 

However, it IS snowing outside...

Anonymous Extraordinaries

Totally worth watching for the whole 12 minutes.

http://www.ted.com/talks/natalie_warne_being_young_and_making_an_impact.html#.TslAezu2qy8.email

LOVE the term anonymous extraordinaries. Give a hug to the anonymous extraordinaries in your life today...I mean, it is that thankful time of year and all.

Captain's Log 00112111

Off to a good start. Full 20 minute cleansing yoga AND Mount Laundry movement.

Good thing. It's Oreo Cookie Day!

Now...if I can just find time to study for my test today....AGH! Go to my center, go to my center.

Dear Kind Creative Executive

Dear Kind Executive,

I was in your store the other day, and feeling a little glum, I must admit. Trying not to cry in front of the cash register lady (who is very nice, I think you might want to give her a raise) and I saw this incredibly nice note that you left. I can't tell you how happy that made me. See, I've been down on my luck a bit lately. A nasty divorce left me bankrupt, alone with 2 kiddos, forced to move due to foreclosure on my family home and now in an attempt to start anew, I am back in school, and therefore broke, living on borrowed money. So, I could really use the following:

A cabana boy who delivers coffee to me every morning. I think if just this could happen, then all would be right in my world.

Thank you again for your kind note.

Most Sincerely,
Struggling Student

p.s. Could you please make sure the cabana boy is comfortable not wearing clothes? We are nudists.

Backseat Chatter

"Uh oh. Mom's stopping the car."

I was completely HORRIFIED at the way my kiddos were talking to each other on our way home today. So instead of vociferously reminding them of the "appropriate" way to talk to each other, I charged my screaming monkeys with a task upon arrival at home.

"Write 5 things that you like about the other person. We will discuss the lists when everyone is done and sitting quietly at the kitchen table."

The remaining ride home became a competition of who could say the nicest thing, which was an absolute joy to listen to. These were the final lists:

Turner:                                                                    
1. She is funny.                                                         
2. She is reliable.                                                         
3. She helps me.                                                      
4. She plays with me.                                                
5. She makes me laugh.

Quincy:                                          
1. He is funny.
2. He is playful.
3. He is nice.
4. He is huggable.
5. He is loveable.

HOLY smokes! Do you know, for the rest of the night everyone got along? The power of positive.

When focus is achieved

Insane!

Check out this great MSN video: Yoga Breakdancer

I am inspired to find my yoga mat.

Hah! Right. Exercise.

My exercise regime is comprised of a fairly intense daily program designed for me personally so that I may achieve my fitness goal... Which is to look a little bit less like the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man and a little more like Cameron Diaz.

Monday: Throw Mount Laundry from bed to floor. Good for arms, and if motivated, stomach.

Tuesday: Chase 6 year old around house 6 times holding long sleeve shirt that must be put on. Good for cardio, arms and vocal chords.

Wednesday: Rake leaves, jump in pile with kiddos. Repeat. Good for sanity.

Thursday: 20 minutes of "cleansing" yoga routine...wonder.. is it one minute cleanse takes away one glass of wine? Good for all things, except wallet, because due to cleanse, it is now acceptable to buy more wine.

Friday: ummmmm....it's Friday!

Saturday: Squeeze glutes while trucking monkeys around from one sports event to the other.  Good way to get a JLo butt....NO! Wait! I am trying to channel Cameron. Crap. Gotta change that one. Maybe it was squeeze and release the steering wheel so that my arms will look like Cameron's?

Sunday: Roll out of bed onto Mount Laundry, pick up and throw back on bed. Good for arms, stomach and maybe one day, I will find a pair of (GDit) matching socks!

Hold on to this one...

Every once in awhile a grouping of words can hit right through to my soul. Individually the words are plain, ordinary, but when put together they lead to inspiration. I just discovered this quote while doing some research. I think we all need to print this quote. Hang it on the frig, bathroom mirror, steering wheel...wherever you will see it, read it, OWN it. Daily.

Nelson Mandela says, “Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

New family pet Fuzzy Wuzzy.

This Just In

Mom. You forgot a few items at the grocery store.

1. Milk
2. Cereal
3. Ice Cream
4. Ice Cream Sandwiches (because having ONLY ice cream is simply not enough)
5. Dinner Food

Thank you daughter-helper-bee. I can't believe I could possibly forget "Dinner Food."

Note to self: Move laundry up on priority list.

My son greeted me with a thoughtful, inspirational question this morning...

"Mom? If you could have ANY super power you want, what would it be?"

...deep pre-java thoughts....

He continued.  "'Cause, Mom? I would have Scott's lasers eyes, Logan's power, be able to vanish within a width of two miles like Night Crawler, and a voice that is such a HUGE piercing voice, that it can break anything in it's path. SOOoooo, Mom...what would your power be?"

Mount Laundry

I stopped looking for matching socks, wrangled myself free from pajama pant leg, towel and tutu to look at him. Thinking I am quite hilarious I responded with "Conjuring a magical laundry wizard that washes, folds and puts away."

Not the least bit impressed with my choice of super power, my son rolled his eyes, turned and left me alone with the beast that is my nemesis, laundry.

Shrugging my shoulders I dove back into Mount Laundry. All the while giggling to myself...laundry wizard...BRILLIANT!