Back Seat Conversations

It seems as if some of the best conversations I have with the kids always takes place in the car. For example:

Me: "I love how you think out of the box. Like Einstein."
T: "Who, Albert?"
Me: "Yes. Albert."
T: "You mean Smart Head?"
Me: "Hahahahah! Yes. Smart Head."

OR

Q: "Mom. We need to go home so that I can change my skirt."
Me: "Ummmm. Okay. Why?"
Q: "It makes me feel like I am going to throw up."
Me: "Your SKIRT is making you feel this way?"
Q: "Yeeessss Mom, my skirt."

These are the  moments that keep me smiling!

My Ode to Valentine's Day

Bear with me, I am not a poet. However, on this day of love poems, I wrote a little ditty.

 

 

Darling,

I do not like the gift in a can.

I do not want that flower

So obviously picked within the hour.

(Along with the generic chocolate.)

Haven’t you paid attention, you twit?

While we are mentioning it,

No more wine, or promise of song

No more romantic evenings gone wrong.

I am not the size of a Vicky Seek model

And I am not going to squabble

Course, if you want give me a bauble… or two.

Tiara, toe ring, wrist bangle

It must be big, platinum, sparkle
and it's okay if it dangles.

You have been so busy

And that can make me quite pissy.

But if you want me to get frisky,

Listen.

On this forced day of love

(That I truly want to shove!)

The only thing I desire…

And this part is most certainly true,

All the year through,

Babe.  Clearly! It’s only you.

Sound Advice...from my children

This semester has brought on STRESS. Hair pulling, teeth grinding, caffeine abusing stress. However! I am the solitary leader of this pack and as the solitary leader, I feel it is my responsibility to provide a positive role model and take advantage of all parenting opportunities as they arise.

Which leads me to our pre-dinner conversation the other night.

"Mom. Why are you grunting?"

"Grunting? Oh. Ha. Me?"  Pausing a moment and noting to self that I was using my outside voice...then... enlightenment showed it's bright shiny beam on me for a second and I saw an opportunity. "Yes. I am so sorry kiddos. Mommy has so much going on, and well, I feel a little stressed. Have you ever felt this way? What do you do?"

T(8yo): "Mom. I totally have. This is what you need to do. Take a breath. Stop what you are doing that is making you nutso. Walk away until you can feel calm. If you need to, you can play with Q or me, for like 10 minutes, and then go back to your homework."

Q(6yo): "Yeah! You can like go back to your center and get to a calm place and then when you aren't frustrated anymore, finish your work."

Me: "Holy smokes you guys! That is such AMAZING advice. Thank you! Wow!"
To self: "They really do listen to me."

Simultaneously, they responded, "Yea, Mom. I learned that at school."

Clearly my job is done. You can find me in my bed. Under my covers. :)

Crazy Lady

Leave it to me, Jack Ass Numero Uno, to walk into the first day of classes with nary a pen, piece of paper or a text book.  So much for spending my entire winter break trying to organize myself and this little family pod of mine! The kids can tell you at a moment's notice what the plan is for the day, the week, and quite possibly the upcoming month. But can I, their so-called "organized" Mom, find her way to class prepared? Not so much.

Thankfully, my class is in the building that I just happened to discover last semester when I had to make up an exam that I missed due to a ....ummmmm...sick child?

Once I found my class room (did I mention I was late and walked into a classroom that is anti food and drink...with a coffee in my hand?) After attempting to hide my much needed coffee under the last and very squeaky chair left-of course located in the front of the classroom, I was thrilled to discover that my Micro Biology professor is a true gem from the good old days. We're talkin' oooold school. He even said that he will call us "Toots" if we should so desire. I am pretty sure I heard some quick inhales in the classroom, and I tried to keep my giggle quiet, but lets face it, that is NOT a strong suit of mine.

Walk with me for a moment. Picture Droopy the old sad looking cartoon dog. Now picture Mr. Magoo.....okay...got it? Mix them together. Yup. That's my man. The man that I have named as Mr. Monty. Under some kind of delusion, he shared with us the many nick names he had growing up. One of which was Monty (for Monty Python) Really, Professor? Now how am I supposed to let that go?

So what have I learned from this experience? Being organized is a great concept. Being organized allows one to live in the present moment which allows for less stress, fear, and anxiety. It can, however, cause dependence on said organization and then cause lapses in forward thinking. Woops! Note to Self: Look ahead as well as in front of you.

Oh. And by the way, Mr. Monty's class is going to kick my ass.

Follow Me on Twitter

Recently discovered the beauty of this whole Social Media thing. Mostly because, well, I'm just going to say it. I have outgrown FaceBook. Don't get me wrong, FB is great for the reason I signed up- to share photos of the kids to the family and friends we left behind in Vermont. Yet...there is this new fancy site...Pintrest...that may become the next thing to consume my interest (story to follow, I am sure.)

I digress.

Follow me on Twitter (@mothersgraffiti) for up-to-the-moment giggles of raising my dear, sweet, ADHD son and my scooter-riding (indoor scooter riding, that is) daughter.

How Many Hours Can You Squeeze?

Busy moms that we are...ever track what you do during each hour of the day? Ya. No wonder I am always tired.

5-6 AM: Yoga, mediatation, make coffee, read Gmail Calendar, freak out about what I haven't done.

6-7AM: Get kids dressed, fed. Yes. It takes that long.

7-8AM: Finish dressing self, drink coffee, freak out about things not done, try to pre-plan the next step.

8-9AM: Drops kids off at school, travel to work/school, stop by coffee shop for heavily caffeine laden coffee in a to-go cup because you still can't figure out how to catch up on everything missed yesterday, that has to be squeezed into today and still finish today's list because you are a good role model and finish your lists just like you insist your children do....and don't tell me I can't do it!

9-10AM: Switch to decaf tea.

10-11AM: Work/School/Errands

11AM-Noon:What was I doing again? I think I need to take a nap. Coffee anyone?

12-1PM: Why am I hungry? Did I eat breakfast? oooooohhh...I straightened my hair today. So, no. No breakfast. But I need to call the doctorsandfriendsandmakethegrocerylistandruntothepostoffice...

1-2PM: Water, must remember to drink water today. Call the (enter any number of only open Mon-Fri 9-5, but closed 12-1 office-type place that you have been trying to reach since last freakin' week.)

2-3PM: Breathe, finish everything up before racing to meet the bus/pick up the kids at school. Put on black and white referee shirt, psych self up to catch/re-channel/intervene and/or inspire exhausted, grumpy and hungry post-school children.

3-5PM: Focus. Homework. Snacks. After school activity. Stop hitting. No he did not take it on purpose. Well give it back then. Homework! Has anyone fed the cat this week. No, you may not have any more snacks, dinner is in 15 minutes. Go play outside. Hmmmm...I wonder...if you are cold outside, do you think winter boots are better than flip flops?

5-6PM: EAT! No elbows on the table. I am so excited to hear your story, please wait until you are done chewing. Who is kicking the floor? I notice your plate is still on the table, and you are the living room, does that mean you are done with dinner?

6-7PM: Family Time.

7-8PM: Get kids ready for bed, keep eyes open with some twigs you found in your son's backpack. Read. Kisses. Hugs. I SAID GOODNIGHT!

8-Midnight: Clean the house, do the dishes, look at to-do list. Burn it. Grab a glass of wine, pour it back into the bottle because, oh yeah... YOU have to study.

Midnight-5AM: Sleep in the 1/2 of the bed that isn't covered in laundry or books or animals (or husbands, should you be so lucky.)

5AM Tuesday morning: Where is that naked Cabana boy with my coffee, and why isn't there an app for that yet?

Tell me how you spend your days!

HILARIOUS! 14 Reasons to NOT Stay at Home

I am passing along this hilarious list from a fellow mom-blogger. Also, 14 reasons why I found myself back at school as quickly as possible! I hope you enjoy.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mobileweb/dani-klein-modisett/being-stay-at-home-mom-sucks_b_1198338.html

Happy Day!!